December 2003
Forgiveness - Balm for the Soul

Kathy Roblyer is the Assistant Editor for The Friends Voice and a member of First Friends Church of Colorado Springs. She relates a painful experience from years ago in another church, through which she learned of God's powerful ability to help us forgive and to heal our souls.

I felt miserable. For months I had suffered from insomnia, stomach disorders, and a sense of dread. Chronic health problems worsened. I felt constantly drained and short-tempered. The cause? My inability to forgive.

A Christian brother had wronged me. Larry (not his actual name) had failed to defend me against the unjust, slanderous accusations of another during a meeting in which I was not present. He was the only one who could have stood up and spoken truth, but he chose not to do so.

When I heard about it, I felt betrayed, hurt, and very angry. I asked God to reveal my sins. I spoke with several friends to see if they thought I was guilty of the accusations. I knew before God that I was not guilty, but I could not let go of the pain and forgive. As weeks and months passed, my heart hardened. With the spiritual distress came physical distress.

Mere thoughts of Larry brought palpitations, nausea, and headache. And I saw him every week at church. It became more and more difficult to worship and minister. I sought spiritual direction and considered changing churches.

I prayed over the biblical guidelines for resolving offenses: face-to-face discussion, third-party arbitration, and discussion before the church (Matthew 18:15-17). But in this case, those actions would have hurt others. I knew I simply needed to forgive and go on. Even so, I could not do it.

Finally, my husband and I went to see two Christian women known for their discernment, intercession, and healing. We prayed with them for hours. In prayer, I was finally able to confront Larry face-to-face, while Jesus arbitrated. I set aside my anger, forgave, and finally felt God's overwhelming peace.

A remarkable healing followed. My enthusiasm in ministry and worship was restored. My physical health improved. I became a more pleasant, peaceful person at home.

God alone can heal our souls and bring peace to our troubled hearts. Sometimes I still struggle to forgive, but I am certain now that God will bring healing and peace, when I yield to him.

-by Kathy Roblyer