December 2003
A Journey Towards Trust Finally Brings Peace and Understanding of God's Will

It's time to move on. Strange how so few words can cause such chaos in one's life. My manager was offering me a pro-motion and a chance to relocate to another state. With the promotion came prestige and honor if I could turn the department around. I told the manager I would think about it over the weekend even though the turmoil had already begun. Why now? Why me?

I met with three dear friends from my church for a clearness committee regarding my decision. I had never before sat in on this type of process and certainly had never been the focus of a clearness committee.

No clear "yes" or "no" came out of the meeting, but what I did experience was the love of my church family and guidance from wise counselors. They guided me through the process of how to hear from God regarding my decision to apply for the position.

What happened next was something I will just call my journey towards learning to trust God. I learned that I had some misconceptions about hearing from God. Could I trust him to take care of me far from home? Could I trust him to find me new friends and a new church home?

Could I do the job that was being asked of me? Instead of supervising five people, I would now manage a department of 45 people for an entire state. Doubts crept in. Surely they had chosen the wrong person for the job.

I soon recognized that what I was to learn was not the answer about whether I should go or stay, but what is means to put my trust in God. Over the next month, I kept running across the word trust. While reading a devotional one night, the word trust seemed to jump off the page. While teaching Sunday school, I heard myself telling the children that all we need to do is to trust God. Sermons on Sundays and songs on the radio all commanded me to trust him. I couldn't escape.

Then the day came to go to my potential new location to look for a house. I pushed ahead in what I hoped was obedience to God's will. I didn't feel I had a clear answer yet.

My older sister went with me. From the first day there, nothing seemed right. The place did not "feel" right. There was no peace in my heart or excitement about finding a house. Everything seemed foreign and unfamiliar.

My sister recognized the gamut of emotions I had been going through during that week and the month and a half prior. She finally put a deadline on my decision. By 5:00 Friday, I was to give her an answer. Would I go or stay?

When 5:00 rolled around, she looked at me. I simply said, "No," I wasn't going to move and this was not where God was leading. Immediately the turmoil stopped. I suddenly knew that I was doing the right thing and that this was what God wanted for me. No lightning bolts came from above. There was no booming voice that said, "Karen, you are doing the right thing." I simply sensed God's love.

I have heard that it is while on the journey, not after reaching the destination, that we learn the most about life. I didn't move out of state. But the journey provided a path of discovery. I learned I could trust God.

It was no longer just something I had heard all my life. It became a reality to me in a new and exciting way. God wanted the best for me. I could place my future in his hands and trust him. God cared about what I felt and where I should live. God cared about my developing Christian character and maturity.

I am now reading Dallas Willard's book, Hearing God, which is bringing even greater insights. I'll take the journey in stride and know that in the journey is the lesson, not in the end result.

-by Karen Fulbright, a supervisor for Farmers Insurance and part of the Friends community in Colorado Springs.

Clearness Committees have been used for many years among Friends. This process is employed when a person seeks to understand God's perspective by sitting and listening in community with other discerning believers. Contact your pastor or the editor at if you think this process could be helpful for you.